~ Keep Going ~

Slow progress on a slow cloth

This is going to be one of nine sections on a larger cloth.

When I was first training in,and then practicing,massage,
aromatherapy and cranio~sacral therapy, I owned them. They were mine and I did not worry about who else or how many others were also doing it. It was what I was meant to do at that time. I had no fear. 

Since then, since I have stopped doing the therapies, since I have lost the passion I had for doing them, I have also lost myself and I know fear. I think I even fear being good at something again...or allowing myself to be good at something again.

I am finally, after seven months, finding my story in this Magic Cloth. I am finding, as I hoped I would, that I am thinking about it even when I am not working on it. I am becoming immersed in it; it is talking to me and maybe I am opening up to owning myself again. 

This is what I hoped for when I started doing Jude's classes. My instincts told me it was important for me to invest in this and I am so glad I listened.

One of the most precious gifts Jude has given me are two little words that she tells us all ~ keep going ~  Those two words have indeed kept me going, one step, one idea, one stitch at a time and before I know it, that one step has become a mile, that one idea has blossomed into a hundred ideas, and that one stitch is slowly becoming a whole quilt.....I am grateful.

~ Fifty and wearing Green ~



It happened and I'm still here! aaand I am so thrilled I can wear green at last. I love green ~ it's the colour of the heart chakra, the leaves on my tree friends, grass, sometimes the sea....

I can wear it now because my colouring is changing with my age...hair has gone from raven black to a much softer reddish brown and lots of silver....I have silver wings and I really like them :~)

So. Fifty has brought a reckoning, a questioning, a realising that ~ crikey ~ now I really am grown up! Forty wasn't like that; it passed without much notice for me as I was so involved with parenting our son, who was only 7 at the time, and also concentrating on my work as an aroma and craniosacral therapist, working towards being a herbalist. I had to let that go due to the expense of it.

I've read on a couple of blogs how some people would like to let their 'story' go.....the one that they have carried around with them for years. I realised that I have been wearing mine like a comfortable old coat and it is time to make a new one with different colours ~ maybe green! ~ with a better material, and cut.

One of the things I realised as I was doing my reckoning, is that I have been behaving a little like a victim in the last few years, and I don't like it....not one bit. It's not how I see myself and not who I want to be. I am creating art, but have not had the courage to get it out there....not locally and not on something like etsy...even though I have had an etsy account for some years, I've never used it!

I have also seen on a few blogs that some have chosen a word for the coming year.....mine is courage. I need to let my courage shine again...it has been swamped over the last couple of years; I've allowed myself and my life to become small, safe, boring....I no longer live a bohemian life....but I want to.

Our boy is 17 now and does not need me as much and so I have more time to find me again. I'm excited about that.



WE HAVE NOT COME TO TAKE PRISONERS

We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house
And shout to our reason
“O please, O please,
Come out and play.”

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and
Light!

~ Hafiz, from “The Gift”

Blessed be. H x