It happened and I'm still here! aaand I am so thrilled I can wear green at last. I love green ~ it's the colour of the heart chakra, the leaves on my tree friends, grass, sometimes the sea....
I can wear it now because my colouring is changing with my age...hair has gone from raven black to a much softer reddish brown and lots of silver....I have silver wings and I really like them :~)
So. Fifty has brought a reckoning, a questioning, a realising that ~ crikey ~ now I really am grown up! Forty wasn't like that; it passed without much notice for me as I was so involved with parenting our son, who was only 7 at the time, and also concentrating on my work as an aroma and craniosacral therapist, working towards being a herbalist. I had to let that go due to the expense of it.
I've read on a couple of blogs how some people would like to let their 'story' go.....the one that they have carried around with them for years. I realised that I have been wearing mine like a comfortable old coat and it is time to make a new one with different colours ~ maybe green! ~ with a better material, and cut.
One of the things I realised as I was doing my reckoning, is that I have been behaving a little like a victim in the last few years, and I don't like it....not one bit. It's not how I see myself and not who I want to be. I am creating art, but have not had the courage to get it out there....not locally and not on something like etsy...even though I have had an etsy account for some years, I've never used it!
I have also seen on a few blogs that
some have chosen a word for the coming year.....mine is courage. I need to let my courage shine again...it has been swamped over the last couple of years; I've allowed myself and my life to become small, safe, boring....I no longer live a bohemian life....but I want to.
Our boy is 17 now and does not need me as much and so I have more time to find me again. I'm excited about that.
WE HAVE NOT COME TO TAKE PRISONERS
We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.
We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.
Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.
Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.
We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house
And shout to our reason
“O please, O please,
Come out and play.”
For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,
But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and
Light!
~ Hafiz, from “The Gift”
Blessed be. H x
